Early in my grief journey, I remember not knowing how to respond to condolences. Depending on the person, the expected response varied, and at times I didn't have the energy to respond. Some people were grieving themselves, wanting connection. Some people were inquisitive, wanting to know more details, and some had no idea what to say. At the time, it was all a bit overwhelming. I didn't know how to respond and sometimes, I just didn't want to. One condolence stood out to me the most, "I can't imagine what you're going through." I had a lot of mixed feelings about this one, so I put them in a poem.
I Can't Imagine What You're Going Through
A poem by Christine Angelique
I can't imagine what you're going through
It's ok, neither could I
Nothing quite prepares you
For life forcing a goodbye
We learn about it when we're young
We do our best to sympathize
But it's an impossible thing to imagine
Until it's right before your eyes
I can't imagine what you're going through
Honestly that's probably for the best
I don't wish for you to understand
The feeling of pain swelling in your chest
The constant state of disbelief
Your world turning upside down
Overwhelming waves of endless grief
Becoming a puddle of tears on the ground
I can't imagine what you're going through
That's alright, I don't want you to
Imagine peaceful things instead
That's what I'm trying to do
Her contagious laugh and smile
Every moment we shared together
Her healing warm hugs
All the things I'll cherish forever
I can't imagine what I'm going through
It still doesn't feel real
But if that old saying is true
Time, take my wounds, so I can heal
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